dont think in a box. think more like a circle.

12.11.2002 :::

121102 well right now im in kubu's apeng class. we're using the laptops and on aim and we feel so scandalous.. steven dodd is a genius. anyway. so far it has been a terrible horrible no good very bad day again. i have so many things to do.. arg. anyway.

here are more of kubu's words of wisdom gathered today during class:
we're not talking about international trade.. we're talking about cuckoo and the nuts!
yes love, what can i do you for?
im going to get your whosey-face-ey and get her a frank.

profiles are great when youre in school and being scandalous

conversations:
two cense: alyssa!
PaCxiSLaNdRchick: cha cha!
PaCxiSLaNdRchick: wow. i feel like a hacker.

::: posted by charlene at 11:43:00 AM

121002 today was a terrible horrible no good very bad day. well for the most part. ok. well lemme rephrase that: in school i had a terrible horrible no good very bad day. yeah. why you ask? well one) i woke up kinda late.. got to school late.. two) didnt get to finish my calc packet three) the trial was a bitch because no one on my team was prepared and it pissed the fuck out of me. it was an embarrassment. and some people are just fuckin idiots. jeez. why couldnt have obs let gaby pick the attorneys? man. i feel like shit. its like.. i did all this work and it got turned into shit. i should have not even come to school. it was a waste of my time. it was embarrassing. anyway. i want to quit. i dont like my team. ok. lemme rephrase.. yes they did help me (some of them) but just not enough. it felt like i did all the bitch work.. and now im going to get embarrassed (wait.. too late) because some of the things they cant follow through. shit. im going to stop now because now im getting pissed again and i want to keep this neutral.

i belong in australia today.

anyway. afterschool. i chilled out with gaby at her casa as the usual and i vented to her. she was pissed for me. she understood that yeah.. i shouldnt have to deal with the shit. man.. but im doing it for the amusement of the class. fuck it. i dont care anymore.. didnt i say i was going to stop? stop me. anyway. after that i picked up the posse and we talked to obs for a bit.. then i took dana home and then me kris ray eli and chris just kinda chilled at kristina's for a bit. after that.. we went to brusters.. damnit. something cold on a cold day. anyway. after that.. went back to kris's to eat the icecream.. then went home. day ended early. now im just procrastinating my apeng twelve paper on sexuality or whatever in one flew over the cuckoos nest. iono. i might as well stick with the sexual theme in my papers for that class. i swear.. all my papers (free topic) are dealt with sex in the novel. i dont know why. its just so easy to do. and that most of the books do have alot of sexual innuendo/themes. for this book i think imma do the sex theme again.. but now i think imma write my paper on castration. yeah. castration. as in cutting off balls. its a theme.. on how the females mentally castrate the men. iono where im going. i wrote a flow earlier.. im not going to post it.. iono. maybe i will. who knows.

::: posted by charlene at 9:06:00 PM

121002 lemme take this back to yesterday. . .

"120902" well today i woke up late.. really late. not like one of those.. oh i woke up late and was only 7:00 late.. .. but it was more like i woke up at 730 as in school already started late. so i wake up and someone calls and its chris's mom and she wanted to see if i could pick up chris. so i was like.. how did she know i was home?? anyway. so i go to chris's and he's still sleeping so i wake him up and try to convince him to go to school. it took an hour.. mostly it was just us talkin about whatever.. so we get to school at lik 830 ish.. and tell me why when i went back to class.. no one was doing anything and brisbois was out. lucky me. anyway. egg drop lab was postponed again.. because schultzy is a wimp. english.. was.. kubu-ish..

here's some of the class discussions in english...
sex. how saying "sex" is more like a drive by or a hit n run nowadays.. and how "making love" is more like for the long drive according to frangers.. then mike brings up the salem scandals.. and i say.. that those were more like a "shoot out". we were all laughing like the whole bell. we're a funny class. very sexual. thats ap english for you.

afterschool.. i took gaby home and i went home and i took a shower. yes. a shower. would you like a visual? picture hot steam hovering the shower stall and fogging the glass shower door and water glistening my..... anyway. yeah. i took a shower. after that i picked back up gaby and we went back to school and rounded up the posse. we didnt do much. met up with the O and we watched stateside. after that.. we went back to my car and it wouldnt start. i thought it was the alarm locking the car.. but it was just the wheel.. anyway. so it was me kris ray juanito chris and eli and i took eli home. then we all just went to starbucks and chilled there. after that. i took everyone home. nothing really spectacular spectacular. so i went home and did some school work. around sevenish i picked up ray and kristina for the kwanzaa night at school. that be some good food. mm. hmm. saw stevie d and eli there. after all was done.. i took eli kris and ray home. i was tired. later on i got pretty pissed because i had all this pressure to do the case on my own. eff that. i want to skip the trial because i did all this crap and theyll get all this credit.. and ill get embarrassed.. and effing aye. and i have all this calculus to do.. lets see.. 70 problems plus a 60 problem packet. all calculus and derivatives. so i got really pissed. i wont even talk on the subject cuz ill just get mad again.

::: posted by charlene at 1:40:00 PM

12.08.2002 :::

120802

: guilty conscience

well yesterday i woke up and brian s picked me up to go take the sats at green run. i woke up and it was like 720 b/c b called to say he was going to pick me up and i was like.. uh. give me five minutes. so i put on some sweatpants over my pjs and another shirt and a hoodie, brushed my teeth, and i was ready to go. so he picked me up.. and when i went out i went to go to my car to get my wallet and my ti83 and my freakin car was all frozen and crap. then i looked around and like everything was in a glistening white frost. it looked cool. it was hella cold though. anyway. so we went to pick up pj and then we went to green run. me and p were in the same room and was later joined by chris p: (crispy) and jenny reyes. man. that was boring. im mad i fell asleep before the last part of the sat and the teacher had to wake me up after they already started the last part. no biggie. it was only like 7 problems. anyway. after that.. i went home.. got a lil sleep.. took a shower.. and then picked up dana to go to the mall to do some xmas shoppins. nothing special happened at the mall. pretty boring actually. damn zoomcopter guys. i swear they are the most annoying people at the mall. they harass you and follow you around im like damn! i dont want a freakin helicopter! anyway. so we busted out of there pretty quick. it wasnt all that great of a mall trip as usual.. but then it was like only one pm. so we spent a while there b/c i had to find some madd gifts. then we went to the dollar store then to nO.1 chinese for some quick grub. quick my ass. not that it was slow to get it.. it was slow to eat and slow to finish therefore filling us up rather than just a quick grub. anyway. then i took dana home and i went home and slept before kristinas bday party.

anyway. the party was fun. im mad that some people heard a rumor and started getting mad at me for no particular reason! its ok. i heart you guys anyway. later on everyone just started bboyin. that was fun. then we cut the cheese. cream cheese and strawberry cake that is. anyway. then for a lil bit i fell asleep on the couch. iono. food makes me tired. damn tryptophane. anyway. woke up to more bboyin. then we started watching dahmer. that movie was really dumb. man i wanted to get scared.. but no. it just sucked. anyway. after that we all just started doing some jackass stuff. ok. well not really. but it was pretty dumb anyway. ray and jason started playing with this mask and rayray was becoming a professional puppeteer. hes good. i was impressed.
melvin bought street magic: david blaine and i fell asleep during that b/c i got tired again. so i pretty much fell asleep during that and just didnt get up. i was too damn tired. i slept over at kristinas..

flow:

so i have this guilty conscience alright ill admit it i didnt think it would lead to where it wasnt expected honestly its a complex friendship that is hard to show or see and this guilty conscience is eating at me in the way it shouldnt be im already trying to be nice but it wont suffice because still you are in pain.

i cant help the way things are now or how they have been because the fight is between you and him and im just caught somewhere within and im stuck in a neverending state of confusion b/c i dont know what i want and if what i want is right it ends up being wrong on the other side sigh and i just want to breathe the air how we used to when the air was clean but now the green with jealousy and i know you cant help it but its not helping and now its just all clouded up to me..